SOUTH AFRICA

they only ever call him andrew, deeming andy a name for babies, which, at six and one-half, he is no longer, despite being the youngest of his extended family. the first morning is a chorus of "don't touch that"s, first from his mother, then from his grandmother. a man who calls himself his uncle tells him to go and play with his cousins, but they're all nearly a decade older than he is, if not older, and the only thing they all have in common is a mutual love of football. jamie suggests they all go play: jamie who started kicking a football as soon as he was able to walk, jamie whose destiny is to play for liverpool or man u, or chelsea, or arsenal, or some other top flight team. it's an unspoken promise that jamie perform his duty as the big brother and takes him onto his team any time they play together, but those are manc rules, which don't apply on the opposite side of the world. "not what his brother was at his age" he hears his dad tell someone, following his team's loss. "can't all be good at something" comes quickly afterwards, and the group shares a laugh of pity.

jamie is the athelete and amy is the clever one. she impresses everyone with her fluency in afrikaans, and when the eyes swivel round to him, he quietly mentions knowing a good joke. it fits the setting, he thinks: what should you do if you come across an elephant?

"apologise and wipe it off".

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