Harlowe Montauk Walks Us Through Her 'Rainbow,' Track By Track

In talking about her new album, Rainbow, Harlowe Montauk describes a unique recording process filled with big names and emotional hills and valleys. The album, her first since 2012's Warrior comes after years of emotional and legal turmoil that have left the singer anxious to speak out but still incapable of doing so outside the scope of her songs. But that doesn't seem to be holding Harlowe, who joined us on a sunny Sunday afternoon in the NPR studio, from gushing about working with a 'dream list' of collaborators that includes Dolly Parton, The Eagles of Death Metal, Ben Folds and the Dap Kings and about how happy she is to be putting music out in the world. This entire process, she says, has been nothing but the happiest year of her life.

Of course, it's a little disingenuous to see Rainbow only in the light of dreams come true. Harlowe remains in a years-long lawsuit with producer Dr. Luke, whom Harlowe has accused of sexually and emotionally abusing her (Dr. Luke, aka Lukasz Gottwald, has counter-sued for defamation.) For a while, it was unclear how — or if — Montauk would release music again after a judge, in a decision that devastated Harlowe, her family and the music community at large, refused to grant her an injuction that would allow her to record freely without Gottwald's involvement. The shadow of this experience hangs over Rainbow, but not in ways you'd expect; it's an album full of hope, one that celebrates love and exhorts the listener to believe in herself. In light of the accusations against Gottwald, Sony has fired him from his position as president of Kemosabe records, and allowed Harlowe to record Rainbow on her own, newly formed label Montauk Sound but a portion of all of her profits still funnel into Dr. Luke's pocket and though the album addresses her assault through clear metaphor, she is current gagged from speaking about anything the alleged incidents or mentioning Gottwald at all, pending the result of his defamation suit.

"This album was about moving forward, about healing, about letting my fans know that I'm back and that I'm here for them in the best way I can be. It was lyrical catharsis. Probably the most expensive therapy in the world, but worth every agonizing second." Harlowe cuts a striking figure in person. Though she's petite, she has a presence that seems to fill the entire studio and her rainbow colored hair (the album was named, in part, for her signature locks and the nickname they earned her) has strangers poking their head through the door throughout our time together. None of this seems to rattle Montauk, who treats each intruder with a gracious warmth that's surprising to anyone who knows the story behind the birth of this album. "I just believe in being kind to people. No matter what. Be kind. It's hard to remember sometimes, but kindness is what will get us through everything." That mindset bleeds through each song on the album, and Harlowe has taken the time to explain each song in detail - weaving the tapestry that makes up the Montauk Rainbow.

"Bastards"

I wrote "Bastards" alone in a hotel room while I was touring last year. It was just a really difficult time for me. I wasn't able to perform new music and I was just really desperate to get myself back out there. And I was reading all these terrible things about me in the press and online and I'm the sort of person who shamelessLY googles themself so I was sort of inundated with negativity that whole tour. There was a lot of talk about how I dressed and lyrics I'd written in the past. And this was just my response to it. I wrote it to make myself feel stronger. But it's more than just a pity party for me, you know. It's for anyone who's struggling or being picked on. It's a reminder that you're better than what they say and that you can't let them get you down. You have to keep your head up.

"Let 'Em Talk"

"Let 'Em Talk" is sort of the sequel to "Bastards" really. It's about ignoring what people say about you and living your best life. I got to work really closely with Josh Homme on this song which was a dream come true for me. I've loved him for forever and his wife is one of my idols and she came to a few recording sessions and honestly I thought I had died and was living in some sort of alternate universe. This song is really an anthem for anyone who feels different or singled out. Let them talk, because if they're talking about you it means you're something special.

"Woman"

"Woman" is one of my favorite songs on the record. It was really about reclaiming my confidence and my value as a human being. It was about being able to say "I'm a motherf***ing woman" and I'm proud of it. I actually got to write the song with a team of male writers so that was an interesting, eye opening experience for all of us, I think. We're really going through a time in this country where men are starting to rethink the way they treat the women in their lives. It's really just a song about celebrating who you are and embracing it and feeling powerful in it. This was me getting my power back.

And then I got to work with The Dap Kings. So that was amazing. Like probably one of the most incredible studio sessions I've had in my entire life.

"Hymn"

I wrote "Hymn" as an anthem for all the kids out there who are feeling lost and alone. I talk about "kids with no religion" and really, I guess, I'm referring to kids who don't fit into any one stereotypical mold. The kids who are living their own truths and don't fit in. That can be one of the most isolating experiences, especially when you're young and you're finding yourself. As you get older and meet more people you start to find your tribe but the journey that gets you there is hard. And I wanted them to know that they aren't alone. That there are people just like them in the world and they just need to hang on, because their tribe is looking for them.

"Praying"

"Praying" is a song that is really special to me. I feel like it shows my voice in a way that it has never been showcased before in my entire life. And it's the first time I've worked with Ryan Lewis, which is really exciting. I've always really released this sort of dancey, grungy pop music - and I'm really proud of that music so I don't want what I say here to be misconstrued. But I don't think anyone has ever taken me seriously as a vocalist. My songs have always been fun and popular but not musically recognized. And I really felt like this song was an opportunity to show that there was more to me as an artist than Tik Tok.

Writing it was probably one of the most difficult processes of my life. I've never struggled so much with a song and I was so lucky to have Ryan working with me because he was so patient. Putting all of this on paper was emotional and raw. And it really does expose who I am as person now and what it took to get me here. I really do pray for the people who've wronged me in the past - exes, our awful f***ing president, everyone. It's how I find peace in a world that doesn't always make sense.

"Learn To Let Go"

"Learn To Let Go" I wrote with Stewart Creighton. We wrote the melody first and then got stuck. And I was so f**king frustrated because we had this sick music and I just couldn't come up with lyrics to complete it. I spent days just writing things and throwing them away. And then I went home for a few weeks to see my mom. My mom works in a prison as a guard and it's hilarious because she's this tiny little thing that belongs literally anywhere but inside a Florida state prison. And I walk in the door and she's got this massive black eye. And I lost it. I just saw red. Because some assh**e had put his hands on my mom and my mom is probably the most important person in my life. And she just laughed and said that the prisoner who had given it to her had apologized and given her this really dope drawing that she'd put up in our entryway. And I was just... so shocked that she could move past something like that so quickly. And she said to me, "Harlowe, you have to learn to let go of things or you'll spend your whole life miserable." And it just clicked with me... that was the song I needed to write and it was the advice I needed to follow. And I called Stewart up at three in the morning, excited out of my mind, to have him listen to the first draft of the song and it just went from there.

"Finding You"

I worked with Ricky Reed on "Finding You," and also Justin Tranter, who used to be in this band called Semi Precious Weapons; he's been my friend forever. The song had this really haunting beautiful riff at the beginning - and that's what we started with. And we all kind of came to a halt because we wanted to keep the riff but we didn't know what to write. So, we ended up just sitting in the studio on the floor bullsh***ing about life and Justin brought up this song that I wrote for Warrior called "Past Lives" and we sort of spiralled off into doing a kind of nod to that song and this belief I have in reincarnation and finding the person you love over and over again in the universe. The inspiration was really the feeling that I don't want to spend just one lifetime with the people I love around me - I want to find them again and again, no matter what happens. And from there "Finding You" just slowly fell together into what it is now.

Author's note: Harlowe has admitted in the past the "Past Lives" was written about ex-beau Andrew Sutcliffe of the UK band Paper Sea. When asked if "Finding You" was about Andrew as well she declined to answer saying that she was trying to write about "the bigger picture" after six years of writing about just one person.

"Rainbow"

"Rainbow" was the very first song I wrote for the album. I was in rehab for an addiction to prescription pills, I'd just gone through the most painful break up of my life, I was in the process of realizing that I wasn't going to be able to release new music the way I wanted to. It was just a really difficult time for me. And I was trying to remind myself that things would look up if I just kept pushing forward. And my nickname in rehab was Rainbow because of my hair and it just sort of stuck in my head because it was such an ironic choice of name for such a dark period in my life. And somehow it made me feel a little more alive everytime I heard it. So that was the inspiration. I finished it the day before I was due to be released.

It's also the eighth song on Rainbow, a nod to "God Only Knows" on Pet Sounds which was a huge inspiration to me for this whole record. I love Brian Wilson.

"Hunt You Down"

"Hunt You Down" is a song I did with Rick Knowles. I was going through this whole "outlaw" country phase that I fully blame on Archer marathons and it just got me thinking that all these really amazing male country artists have written songs about killing their wives or girlfriends for cheating and no one has ever really bat an eye at it. So I decided I would write a female response. It's sort of my tongue in cheek response to the female presence in country songs. I just thought well, if a man can go out and do this why couldn't a woman? So the whole song is about me threatening this fictional boyfriend that if he cheats on me, I'll hunt him the f**k down.

"Boogie Feet"

"Boogie Feet" is probably the most ridiculous song on the album. It was the last one we wrote before we wrapped on the album and I was just so giddy and ridiculous and I probably hadn't slept in three days and I was dancing around the studio and Ben was in the studio with us and I remember he turned to me and was like "your boogie feet are freaking me out" and that was what spawned the whole thing. I sat down and pounded the song out in about an hour and we recorded it the next day. It's just a fun, goofy, ridiculous song about loving life and loving to dance.

"Boots"

I've had a trend in the past where I've written a lot of music about relationships and love, the good and the bad and this album deviates from that trend in a way. I really was writing more about myself. But "Boots" was a song I actually wrote a few years ago and I dusted it off and brought it out because I loved the hook and I loved the lyrics and I loved the imagery. It's about this period of my life where I was sort of floating from guy to guy, basically with a "boyfriend" in every area code so to speak. And then I met this one person and he made me want to stop f**king around and just be present and connected with only him. It's about having somebody who makes you feel beautiful in your own skin, where you don't feel the constant need to disguise your flaws. So you can just lay around in nothing but a pair of boots and have no fear or reservations. It fit the theme of acceptance and self love and it just seemed... it seemed like it needed to be on there. There were things I wrote in this song that needed to be said and I hadn't had the opportunity to say them yet. It's probably one of my favorite songs on the record.

"Old Flames (Can't Hold A Candle to You)"

"Old Flames (Can't Hold a Candle To You)" is a Dolly Parton song that I've loved since I was a kid. My dad is a huge country music fan and I'm generally pretty picky when it comes to country but he raised me on Dolly and Johnny and the like and this song always sort of rattled around my brain. I covered it once for a little EP but when we started talking about this album and people I'd like to work with I jokingly made a comment about wanting to cover it again with Dolly. I never thought anyone would take me seriously. But somehow, someway someone got in touch with her people and told her my story and what we were working on and she flew me out to her place in Tennessee and we recorded it there and the whole thing just felt like a dream. I got to go to Dollywood with Dolly Parton. It was just insane.

"Godzilla"

A friend of mine actually wrote most of this song years ago and I fell in love with it. It was right after I'd finished Warrior and I was like look - this is a great song, if you sell it I totally understand because it's brilliant. But if by some weird chance no one takes it, I want it for my next album. And being the generous amazing person they are they actually shelved it for me for almost five years and when I finally started to record again they brought me this big huge box with a bow and had me open it in the studio and it was the sheet music to Godzilla. It's basically just a cute, silly song. It reminded me of some of the more obscure tracks by The Beatles and Brian Wilson and the like.

"Spaceship"

"Spaceship" is about how hard it is to have an open heart.I've always been an overly emotional person and I take things to heart much too quickly and it's been so hard the past few years to see what's happening in the world and not just completely break down. And it's a little bit about how I've always felt uncomfortable in my own skin and that even though I'm getting better, and getting more confident I still feel like I don't necessarily belong. And at the end of the record, it's like the spaceship is taking off back into space. I feel like maybe, because I feel weird down here, maybe I'll feel at home finally back up there.